BLOND JESUS:  The Evolution [Exclusive Interview with Exposed Vocals]

Exposed Vocals: Garrett, it’s great to catch up with you.  The last time we talked in 2015, you were just getting ready to release your first full-length album, “Blond Jesus.”  You ended up with a few chart toppers on indie radio, and winning some awards as a result.  How was that time for you?

Blonde Jesus: Well, first it’s great to be back with you on Exposed Vocals, Randy.  I appreciate the support and exposure you’ve given me the last few years.  As an indie artist, it’s always an interesting challenge to find media outlets to help shine the light.  Exposed Vocals is a valuable partner in the industry for all of us!  I am grateful to be here with you today!

Since releasing “Blond Jesus” I was fortunate to be added on playlists with various indie radio stations around the country.  My take on the Billy Idol song, White Wedding re-written for the LGBT community as Gay Wedding hit right as Marriage Equality became law.  It was #1 on several charts over the summer which was super cool.  The coincidental timing isn’t lost on me – it was set for a specific release date weeks before Marriage Equality became law.  The same day it was released was the same day Marriage Equality passed.  Gay Wedding is still probably the song I get asked most about and is, arguably, also my favorite.  The album had several other singles which also took off – from Unlike You, Sweat and Testify (featuring Debra Wilson from MAD TV) and Witch Sisters Halloween (with bewitching guest vocals by LA based singer/songwriter Kelly Fitzgerald, and Laura Speth) – it was crazy – for something like 128 consecutive weeks I had a #1 single somewhere on indie radio.  I won a Hottest New Artist award, and even a Male Pop Star Award along the way.And yet, most of the country still hasn’t a clue who I am. That’s changing.

Exposed Vocals: I see you’re now using the name Blond Jesus when releasing music.  Why the name change?  Is that what you’re referring to?

Blonde Jesus: Before starting work on my current projects, I decided it was time to shake things up a bit.  The name Garrett Miller, while my parents argue is a great name, isn’t much of a stage name.  If I was going to do anything splashy, changing my artist name to Blond Jesus named after my last album… the timing seemed to be perfect.  So here I am in front of God and everyone proclaiming, I am Blond Jesus!

Now before everyone gets their knickers in a knot, the story behind the name is the key to understanding my message and humor in the music I create.  For anyone who has any misgivings, let me make one thing clear – I am NOT saying I’m Jesus Christ.  Come on, people! 
So here it is – the Lifetime TV story on how Blond Jesus came to be.  I swear it’s 100% true! 
I was up in Hollywood at an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party hosted by Scott & Rene Baio.  At the time I legit looked like Barry Gibb from the Bee Gee’s.  Early in the evening a couple of the ladies started calling me Barry Gibb.  I thought that was awesome!  And, well, hysterical, because, you know – Barry Gibb!  Stayin’ Alive!  

As the night went on, and the Sangria kept flowing, the ladies couldn’t remember who they said I looked like until one of them pointed at me and exclaimed with glee, “There’s that Blond Jesus guy!” I didn’t know whether to be offended or turn it into something hysterically funny.  I’m not easily offended.At the end of the evening, I hopped into the Camaro to drive home.  When I turned on the radio, the first song that came on the XM was Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees. I swear this happend!I called up my producer, Brain Pothier and said, “We’ve got the last song on the album – a disco tribute to the Bee Gee’s called Blond Jesus.”

Thank you drunk girls for the divine inspiration!  A sense of humor prevailed. 
Fast forward to other projects, when people ‘get’ the story instead of getting all self-righteous ignoring the blond origin, they call me Blond Jesus.  It literally makes me laugh inside.  Every.  Single.  Time. With the release of “The Musical” last year, it was just time to tell my story as Blond Jesus.

Exposed Vocals: Our staff listened to The Musical.  Talk about a wide net. What inspired the change in style?

Blonde Jesus: Honestly, the whole project was supposed to be a disco album.  I love disco!  From Donna Summer, Village People, KC & The Sunshine Band to Barry White and Gino Vanelli – I love disco!  I had this grand idea to write 10 songs with the lead single being Disco Resurrection.  I’d proudly proclaim to the world that Blond Jesus would bring Disco back from the dead.  Ha!  But when I went into the studio with Brian to record it – I just couldn’t see myself writing 9 more songs of Disco.  Disco is fun.  Playful.  Several fans have told me this is their favorite song on the album.  I’m glad it’s someone’s!  It’s not mine!  I recorded this when I was angry at the world.  I was angry reading dumb-ass “celebrity” headlines.  Angry at people who have no business getting any media attention.  Angry at so much in life.  That’s not disco.  I wanted to sing about all of the stupidity I see in the world everyday and how it made me feel.  Ultimately, Blond Jesus did not bring Disco back from the dead. 

Exposed Vocals: You’ve got some powerful rock anthems on here Garrett, but you’ve also got some softer moments with I’m Perfect and Love’s Never Been In Love With Me. 

Blonde Jesus: And if you listen to the lyrics, at the core of these songs they’re both incredibly sad.  Gut wrenching.  I mean, I’m Perfect is literally an anthem of how imperfect I feel most of the time, but fake it for the outside world.  And Love’s Never Been In Love With Me – tells you everything there is about my love life.  Sad, right?  Let’s get a violin and some cheese so you can listen to me whine some more.  

Exposed Vocals: The other tracks are rockin’ and are a far cry from your familiar pop tunes of the past. 

Blonde Jesus: I love rock. I love 80’s rock.  I love it all.  I didn’t realize how much this genre influenced me, but it was an awesome vehicle to release all of my anger.  I’d write about it then go into the studio and sing about it.  It’s emotionally draining in one moment and turbo charging the next.   I didn’t realize recording Don’t You Know Who I Am that rock is my most favorite style to sing.  If I could only sing hard rock songs the rest of my life – it would be divine.  I’d probably be a lost less wound up in the rest of my life too!

After recording Hard Rock Heaven, the rest of the album came flooding to me from the angels up above.  Just like with the title for the album Blond Jesus, the title track The Musical didn’t get into my head until late in the game.  I thought it would be hysterical to have the debut under my artist name be “Blond Jesus: The Musical.”  Insert eye roll here, please.  And thank you.  However, from song one until the last track – it does tell a journey and really is kind of a rock opera.The track I’m most proud of is the final song Reach Out Raise Up Rock On.  It’s the story of helping others, lifting one another up and moving forward when life is… well, life.All of my music tends to either have some kind of socially conscious message or humor, if I’m lucky – both.  If it’s a song that I want to listen to 100,000 times, has fun lyrics and leaves me wryly smiling – my job is done.  Rock on!

Exposed Vocals: Where did you find time to do The Musical and also record an album of Christmas music all in the span of a year?

Blonde Jesus: Creatively, I try to be open to what the Universe has in store for me.  I’d just finished The Musical in May, when one of the people I work with in my real-world job professed her love of Christmas.  Like she really loves Christmas more than anything.  I asked her if I could interview her about her life during Christmas and turn it into a song.  I guarantee she thought this would never see the light of day.  That’s when I knew I had to make it happen! Along the way, I’d also been knocking around the idea of doing a year-round “greatest hits” type of holiday project for a couple of years.  I’d released Guess What It’s Christmastime a few years ago on my debut EP Eyes Wide. Then Witch Sisters Halloween and Pucker Up Buttercup (It’s New Years Eve).   Even in The Musical there’s One Time Valentine – a rockin’ country duet with Kelly Fitzgerald who also co-wrote the song with me.

In July I sat down and started writing India’s Christmas Eve – the song about my co-workers’ love of Christmas.  Lyrically it’s simply the best written story I’d ever come up with – because every word was completely true!  Musically it’s exactly the style of song she loved.  It was such an amazing experience to create for her.  She cried when I played it for her.  It was awesome.

I didn’t really think of the “HOW” of getting 2 albums done in a year.  Like with all creative projects – once I get it in my head, it just happens.  Before I know it – it’s time for the next project.  For both albums, I’d take it one song at a time.  I’d come home at night and write about what was going on in the world for The Musical.  Once I got most of my angst out, it was time for the Christmas album.  Writing about Christmas when it’s the middle of July is odd – especially when you live at the beach, but I put my Santa hat on, and kept writing.  The most fun I had recording this collection is a song written about my family getting together for Thanksgiving.  It’s called Pumpkin Pie Lies which is a honky tonk performance sung so fast, I’m not sure I could get any more words in if I tried.  My sister Kyra, and my Aunt Marilyn are mentioned at the end – it’s a shameless attempt for extra pie when we’re all together next.   The song Christmas Without You is probably the saddest song I’ve ever written, yet the way Brian came up with the music and mixed my vocals together – it’s honestly, one of my favorite songs to listen to – regardless of the season.

I also didn’t think I’d do a cover again.  The process used to be so costly and time consuming – the allure simply wasn’t there for me.  That’s when the company distributing my music gave me some 411 on getting licensing into today’s music world. 

I went to my fans on social media who have always been awesome telling me which holiday they’d like me to tackle next.  Overwhelmingly they responded with Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. 

While I loved the song, I thought they’d pick something more upbeat.  But once they told me what they wanted, I decided to try to find out the origins of how this timeless classic came to be and as an artist how I could take my own spin on it.  I came across an article about the original lyrics compared to the lyrics we sing traditionally today.  The original song was for a Judy Garland film. When she got the lyrics, she refused to sing it as written because it was so depressing.  Fast forward to the version she sings in the film – which has now been covered hundreds of times over the years.I thought it would be cool to do both versions of lyrics – essentially doubling of the song. 

Exposed Vocals: When you released the album your cover photo shows you dressed up as Santa holding one of your dogs.  On the actual CD and single, you’ve got a much darker version of Santa.  What was going through your mind?  Did you really shave half of your head?

Blonde Jesus: The picture on the album released online has me dressed up as Santa Clause holding my dog Jenny.  It could have easily been one of my other three dogs – Eric, Bill or Angie.  Jenny just seemed to be most interested in how I set up the photoshoot in the garage that day.  She was a pretty good sport about it.  We got the right picture together without much fuss.  Jenny likes the attention she’s getting from people when they see her now. 

From October through December, I’d let my hair grow out. I’d grown a full beard – dyed it Santa White once a week and it was fun. I looked like Santa Friggin Claus!   I even bought a Santa Suit!  But by the time Thanksgiving rolled around, I was in desperate need of an exit strategy for Santa.  I mean, I really looked like Old Saint Nick.  #TooLegitToNickIn reality, I’m a Scrooge.  I don’t celebrate my birthday.  I don’t celebrate holidays.  To me, it’s just another day of the year.  Including the commercialization of Christmas.  What better way to show the dichotomy of Christmas than the dark side of how I feel about the holidays compared to the Normal Rockwell version of happy we’re all told Christmas is supposed to be.For many, it’s not happy.  For me, it’s not happy.  So that’s what I wanted to create.

On Christmas Eve, I came home from work, got out the dogs grooming shears and proceeded to carefully navigate shaving exactly half of my head and beard.  I mean, I only had one shot to shave 50% off correctly.  Whoa!  Then I got into the costume – well tried to.  Putting on half a Santa suit is harder than you’d think, but I managed to get just the right shot.  I do most of my pictures myself so setting the self timer and racing into the right pose is more challenging that you’d think!

Half Santa/Half Reality.  That’s my deconstructed Santa.  I used this picture for the online single and also for the CD.  It says everything you ever need to know about my thoughts on Christmas.
Next!

Exposed Vocals: Besides music, you’re back doing your podcast, Rated G Radio – how’s that going?

Blonde Jesus: Really well, thank you for asking.  It’s been 11 years since I started Rated G Radio.  For a couple of years, the lack of money in real life along with crazy schedules kept me from keeping the show going on my own.  Luckily, one of the spinoff show’s I created, “Rated LGBT Radio” kept going Thursday’s on my network on BlogTalk Radio with my co-host Rob Watson.  Rob continues the legacy bringing LGBT issues to the airwaves every week. He recently had Belinda Carlisle of The Go Go’s on.  What a guest! I’m really proud of Rob’s work.  He’s always coming up with a show that keeps our community tuning in for more.  We’re also on iHeart Radio and Apple’s Podcasts – which helps bring in even more listeners.

Last year I brought back Rated G Radio as a weekly show with guest co-hosts from the other shows I produce.  It ends up being a great hour to connect with our entire audience – gay, straight, you name it.  If you like fun radio – we’ve got something for just about everyone. 
I’m especially proud of my host Stephanie Gerard who does her show, Journey With Stephanie, monthly on the first Tuesday night each month. In her own right, Stepahnie is a respected psychic and energy healer who brings on talented people from around the country to discuss the modalities of healing they work with.

If I had more time, funding and, well lots more funding, I’d love to make radio a full-time gig. In the meantime, I’m enjoying the shows we produce and share with the world.

Exposed Vocals: What else are you working on? 

Blonde Jesus: I’m in the creative editing mode for a new book – the working title is “365 Days of Inspiration with Blond Jesus” mostly it’s short one to two page stories of inspiration to get you through each day for a whole year.   I’m also working on a book about overcoming alcoholism.  I’ll be celebrating my 10th AD (After Drinking) birthday in January 2023.  I’ll share stories which are fun, painful, creative, enlightening, scary, sad and, yet hopeful.    We’ll see how that comes out.  I’m excited though.  Talking with so many people every week, I’m realizing I have stories to share with the world and while I like to be funny telling the quick one-liners, beneath all of the humor is a person who’s finally comfortable with who they are inside and outside – most of the time.  Perhaps these stories will inspire the world.  Worst case, you’ll be mildly entertained on your Kindle for a few hours on a cross country plane ride.

Do you have any acting aspirations this year?  Any final thoughts tonight?

Blonde Jesus: When I was busy promoting the Blond Jesus album, I was really lucky to be up in Hollywood promoting one single or another.  I was given some walk-on parts on a couple of shows – including Bruce Hart’s award-winning LGBT film, “Open.”    I was in a commercial for Audi.  I even did a cameo as Blond Jesus on “The Child of the 70’s” for my friend Michael Vaccaro.  I was in a pilot for a show on ABC that never got picked up.  And I got to be behind the scenes in several indie tv and film projects.  It was absolutely awesome!  I had a blast.

Though with each project, I realized I’m never going to be Brad Pitt’s competition in this lifetime.  These actors possess more talent in their pinky than my entire being will ever possibly hold.  I wish I liked acting more than I do.  That shocks me to say this aloud.

Now, if I could be on my own self-scripted reality show with Ryan Secrest producing, with the Kardashian’s giving me the ability to print money, I’d be there for my 4am wake up call. At the end of the day here’s my reality:  I like to pay rent and eat – both in the same month.  Starving for my art isn’t a compromise I’m willing to make any longer.  The life I have now is nice.  It’s simple.  It’s not the glamorous life I thought I’d have at this point.  It’s also a completely different life than I had 10, 15 or even 20 years ago.  It’s so much better.

I am able to come home to my dogs every night.  I can write and record music which feeds my soul.   I can do radio shows when I want.  I write books.  And when my fans choose to take part of their journey with me – we’ll have some fun together. I like my life now.  A lot.If I’m supposed to be part of the next big motion picture or tv show or broadway musical, as with all things that have creatively given me joy – the right people and opportunities will easily find me.  I’m here.  I’m open.  I’m creative.  I’m ready for the masses.  Let’s do this.  

Exposed Vocals: Thank you Blond Jesus!  We’re excited to see where you’re headed next.

Blonde Jesus: Thank you, Exposed Vocals!  Keep your eyes focused on the heavens above.  Perhaps we’ll see one another in the stars.